Even After, I'll Love You Again
by Cathamaria
Summary: To seal the Nothing Card, Sakura sacrifices her greatest magical energies. When she awakes, her memories are gone, and the life she knew as a Cardcaptor had been forgotten. But each time she looks at the boy with the deep amber eyes, she feels as if there
1. Even After

**Even After, I'll Love You Again**

_To seal the Nothing Card, Sakura sacrifices her greatest magical energies and is consumed by the darkness. When she awakes, her memories are gone—with them nearly all her magic as well—and the life she knew as a Cardcaptor had been forgotten. But each time she looks at the boy with the deep amber eyes, she feels as if there is something she needs to remember._

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, CLAMP does.

Dedicated to: Chia and everyone else who thought the ending of the second CCS movie was completely unacceptable... we don't even know if Sakura made the leap into Syaoran's arms or if she fell and landed with an unreasonably cheerful splat...

A/N: This is like an AU for the second movie, so any inconsistencies that exist... they're SUPPOSED to be there! ;;; I REPEAT: THIS IS AN AU FIC!!!

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**Part One: Even After**

Everywhere they looked, there was darkness.

Kinomoto Sakura and Li Syaoran stood alone on top of Tomoeda's radio tower, and everywhere they looked, there was darkness. Everything that had happened and everyone that had disappeared into the void of the Nothing Card: it was something both bewildering and frightening to the two Cardcaptors. Tomoyo and Meiling, and all the citizens of Tomoeda, and even Keroberos and Yue could not stand against the power of the Nothing; they were all engulfed by the empty black abyss.

Everyone had disappeared, and now it was just Sakura and Syaoran, alone and unknowing of how to stop the most powerful Clow Card created. It was the most powerful card of them all, and the most dangerous, for the Nothing embodied the soul of destruction. It had no other purpose. Tomoeda reached its darkest hour, but at present they could do nothing about it.

And so they stood, watching the darkness.

The sandglass of time drained slowly, and even when it seemed there was nothing left of the city, something more disappeared. The two Cardcaptors were helpless spectators; their only hope was to find the one way to seal it. Sakura remembered what Eriol had told her about the Nothing. Now she was trying to understand what exactly he had meant... What had he meant?

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"You must listen, Sakura-san," Eriol said with urgency in his voice. "The Nothing Card is too powerful to be sealed by your magic alone. It is not like the others." Sakura could tell the line was breaking, and Mizuki-sensei and Eriol-kun's magic would not last much longer.

(A/N: I've always wondered why Eriol used magic in this scene... Would the Nothing swallow all the phone lines and satellites to stop it or something? Or was Eriol just so cheap that he didn't want to spend money on an over-priced international call just to warn Sakura something bad was going to happen? )

"How do we seal it, then, Eriol-kun?" Sakura asked, and Kero, Yue, and Tomoyo understood then the trouble descending.

"It cannot be sealed with your staff alone, Sakura-san," Eriol said in reply. "The Nothing is the soul of destruction... Its only desire is to create a void of nothingness in which no life or memory can exist. It will not allow itself to be sealed without a sacrifice."

"A sacrifice?" Sakura asked, confused. The three others in Sakura's room who were listening felt a twinge of dread creep around them.

"One can call it that," Eriol continued. "To seal it there must be a sacrifice, or if you wish to call it, a compromise." The line faltered and the magic began to fade even faster than it had been. Mizuki-sensei was battling with another power—most likely that of the Nothing Card—to keep the connection from breaking. "Sakura-san," he said more quickly, "just listen to me. To seal the Nothing, the heart of the most powerful magician must disappear."

"But—" Sakura started to speak, but at that moment, the phone went dead. She closed her eyes.

"What did he tell you?" Kero asked. "Was he able to tell you how to seal the card?"

"He said that the heart of the most powerful magician must disappear." Kero nodded solemnly and Yue remained silent. In some faint form of premonition, both Guardians knew what would become of this final battle... this final Clow Card. But Tomoyo, even beneath the shadows cast by this impending fate, did not fall into the clutches of despair. She smiled for Sakura's sake.

"I don't think I understand much about this, Sakura-chan, but I believe that everything will turn out well in the end," Tomoyo told her reassuringly.

"I hope so," Sakura whispered in reply.

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Sakura closed her eyes, no longer able to face the emptiness below them. Syaoran knew she was remembering something important—thinking about it or trying to understand it, for he'd seen the glazed look in her emerald eyes. And when she closed her eyes and expelled a nearly silent sigh of forbearance, he knew she'd been thinking about what Hiiragizawa had told her. Like Kero and Yue, Syaoran, too, had a faint sense of premonition. He knew something would change when the card was sealed. Something would be different, and that something would be one he would regret.

"To seal the Nothing, the heart of the most powerful magician must disappear," Sakura whispered, enunciating Eriol's exact words. Confusion and frustration were evident in her voice, and Syaoran reached out to reassure her. He only managed to take one step, though, before Sakura whirled around. "I understand," she stated, a miserable triumph in this dark hour.

"Sakura, what—?"

"At first, I thought it was something tangible, but Syaoran-kun, do you know what truly is the heart of a magician?" He half-shook and half-nodded his head as Sakura continued to speak. "It's their memories and their magic... the life they've known for so long. So when Eriol-kun said that a sacrifice had to be made, he meant the most powerful magician must give that all up. I understand now, and what I must do, Syaoran-kun, I do for everyone. You, Tomoyo-chan, Meiling-chan, Keroberos, and Yue, and everyone."

Syaoran stood in shock, his eyes wide with a fear he'd never felt before.

"Sakura—" But he could not find the words with which to speak.

"Remember, Syaoran-kun, when Kero and Yue named me the Card Mistress? Once, a long time ago, Kero-chan told me that life was like a puppet show, where we are all merely dolls, and fate is pulling all the strings backstage." She did not meet his amber gaze, fearing the last of her courage would ebb away before she could grasp it and do what she knew was the only thing to do. "I don't know what will happen to me after the Nothing is sealed, but I do know that it will be sealed."

At that moment, Syaoran could listen to no more. For the first time since before the Final Judgment, Syaoran got angry—truly angry. "And so you would let fate pull those strings and take it all away from you?!" he shouted, and in the bleakness around them, his words seemed to echo forever. "Sakura, you'll lose it all! Your memories, your magic... and everything you've known as a Cardcaptor! What will happen to us then, Sakura? What will happen?" But the anger in his voice faded into fear. He was afraid.

"Syaoran-kun, please understand. It doesn't matter what I lose, because in the end, if I don't do this, the entire world will seep into the void... I'll lose more than what will be missing if I make a sacrifice now. Syaoran-kun, I'd lose you! And I don't want that to ever happen..." There was silence then.

"Sakura... and what if I lose you?"

"You won't lose me, Syaoran," she replied softly. "Just remember that I promise I'll love you again, even after my feelings are taken away." With that, she jumped from the tower, plummeting into the dark abyss that lay below. She was going alone in search of the Nothing Card, and Syaoran could not follow, for his magic was not strong enough to enter the void without being swallowed completely by it.

"Sakura, don't do this!" he yelled, but Syaoran was alone with his echo.

Sakura continued to fall into the void, slowing until her falling became more like floating in a sea of blackness. She did not know how long she'd searched, but finally, emerging from the dark came a pair of hollow gray-violet eyes—eyes that belonged to the Nothing, the soul of all destruction. When Sakura's emerald eyes met that empty gaze, everything became like a lucid dream. The Nothing smiled in satisfaction, taking from Sakura the one heavy purchase price for sealing the final card. Sakura felt a great loss, indeed, but for Syaoran and the others, she would not turn back. Her staff glowed with her soft pink aura, and she reached for the power of her star. The rest was a blur of shadows and magic, but at least Sakura knew when she lost consciousness, that she held the Nothing Card in her hand. She had sealed it.

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"Owww, my head!" Syaoran moaned, struggling to his feet. When his eyes adjusted, he realized he was still standing on top of the radio tower. But now he was alone. With frantic eyes he scanned what lay below him, and what he saw was something that brought a wave of both relief and sorrow to wash over him. Everything was where it should be, and everyone had returned. Only one thing crossed his mind, then: Sakura. He had to find Sakura.

And he found her in the one place he'd become most familiar with: the Penguin slide. But it was not a happy reunion as he'd dreamed, where the Card Mistress turned to answer his calls, smiling her pretty, innocent smile, her emerald gaze flashing with joy and triumph and love as she held the Nothing Card in her hand. No, that was not how he found her. Her thin, fragile body lay in the sand, unmoving, and Syaoran feared for the worst. He ran to her side, his heart pounding painfully against his ribs, and he sighed when he found she was only unconscious; she had not died. In an instant, he scooped her up in his arms and began to run. He needed to find his mother and Fujitaka-san. He was bringing her back to the Kinomoto residence: her home.

"Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo cried for what might have been the hundredth time, but she and Meiling had already lost count. "Sakura-chan!" The two girls rounded the corner and nearly crashed into Syaoran. "Li-kun!" Tomoyo said, and then she saw the unconscious Sakura in his arms.

"I'm bringing her back to her father," Syaoran said flatly, fighting the grief that was cutting him deeper with every moment. Only he knew what Sakura had done to seal the Nothing, and soon he would have to explain it to Tomoyo and Meiling. They nodded and followed.

"Did Kinomoto-san seal the card?" Meiling asked and Syaoran nodded.

"It was in her hand when I found her. She must have signed it before she fainted." He said nothing more.

"Then everything turned out well," Tomoyo said softly, but Syaoran did not acknowledge. Silently, he was crying, because he knew Tomoyo was wrong... very wrong.

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An urgent knock came to the door of the Kinomoto residence, and Fujitaka, Touya, and Yelan rushed to answer it. The three had sat in silence, knowing that Sakura and Syaoran had a great task placed before them. They were waiting for the truth of what happened to appear, for in the midst of the chaos caused by the Nothing, Yelan could not feel either magician's aura. She could not even sense her own. Keroberos and Yue did not speak nor move, for they knew.

"Sakura!" Fujitaka gasped when he pulled open the door. A weary Syaoran held her out to him, and Tomoyo and Meiling only watched from behind.

"What happened to my sister, gaki?!" Touya asked when his eyes landed on Sakura's unconscious form. "What did you do?!"

"She sealed the Nothing," was all that Syaoran said to anyone and everyone and no one.

Yelan helped to herd everyone inside, and Syaoran laid Sakura on the couch. His eyes were relieved, yet worried, and he held a great sadness, Yelan noticed. She did not ask, for she knew her son would tell them everything in time. It was the first thing he said that surprised her. "Can you still feel her magic, mother?" he asked.

She tried to sense the aura of the Card Mistress, but something was wrong. It was like it no longer existed. "I don't know," Yelan replied.

Everyone in the room was silent. Meiling was shocked, Tomoyo was near tears, Fujitaka, in his worried state, wanted to know what it all meant. Touya was busy mentally listing the number of ways he could hurt Syaoran for letting harm befall Sakura. Syaoran did not look at anyone. Minutes passed like hours.

"It's okay," Yue said, and did not say anything more.

They wanted to question the Moon guardian, they wanted to know what he meant, but Yue did not answer.

"It's okay," Keroberos repeated. "You cannot feel her aura because it is too faint. We are her guardians, so we can sense her magic, no matter how weak it may be. It's the work of fate that Sakura's energy was so strong the Nothing could not consume it all. You do not need to worry, because in time her magic will grow and return. You don't need to worry, kid," he told Syaoran. Syaoran did not look at the Sun guardian.

"It's not her powers that have vanished, then," he whispered. "It's her memory. She told me that the heart of a magician lies in their memories... in everything they knew in their life as a magician." Everyone in the room gasped. "I'll tell you everything that happened," Syaoran offered quietly, forsakenly. They nodded.

"If she's forgotten her life as a Cardcaptor, then we'll just have to teach her all over again," Keroberos said wilfully.

"It cannot be done," Yelan answered. "She no longer knows this world of magic exists. If we try to show it to her, she will become confused, and that confusion will disturb the Cards; they will not understand, and perhaps they will cease to obey." She sat on the sofa with Fujitaka and Touya, while Tomoyo and Meiling tended to a now sleeping Sakura. They were afraid for Sakura's sake.

"Then what can be done? What will happen to the Cards?"

"The Cards will remain silent, powerless, until their Mistress remembers. If she does not remember, they will not and cannot be released. On the day she dies, when that happens, the Cards will scatter once again to be captured."

"Clow Reed did not create these cards so that such fate could cycle so despairingly!" Keroberos shouted, suddenly growing furious. "He did not create them to cause human pain!" For a moment Fujitaka and Yelan did not understand, but with one paw he pointed to the chestnut haired boy who'd been silent all this time. "Especially not for his blood descendants." And they knew, then, that Syaoran was the one who suffered.

"But it will continue to cycle this way," Yue commented flatly, as usual his true emotions, despair and resent, were hidden by a stone facade. "Because the next magician will have to make the same sacrifice... and each Master we choose, Keroberos, will meet the same fate." Something coursed through the air of that room then, a mix of anger and frustration and grief welded into the hearts of all who were present.

"When did we choose to give up hope so soon?" Keroberos asked. Yelan nodded apologetically, and another discussion ended the previous one.

"Keroberos, Yue-san," she whispered.

"Yes, Li-sama?"

"Sakura has met a fate where the two of you can no longer exist in her world. You must be gone before she wakes."

"What?!" Keroberos cried, but Yue held a silent understanding.

"I'm so sorry, Keroberos. Sakura has not lost all her magical energy, so there still lies hope, but no longer will she remember who you are. It would not be right to show yourselves before the Card Mistress... at least not until she remembers."

"And how long will that take?" Kero asked, scared and angry.

"I don't know. Maybe she will when she awakes, or maybe she'll never. I'm so sorry." Yelan laid a hand on the shoulders of the two Guardians. "Vanish now, and do not show your presence, for the sake of your Mistress." They nodded.

"Good-bye, Sakura," Kero whispered.

"Good-bye, Mistress," Yue said, his emotions escaping from behind his mask this one time, as one tear slipped down the Moon guardian's cheek. Then, in a flash of magic, the two Guardians' wings enshrouded them, and they disappeared completely. Yelan turned around to see her son kneeling by Sakura's side. His bangs fell over his eyes and one hand he laid on hers. Every so often, in the silence as Yelan watched, Syaoran shook a little as if he were crying. Fujitaka and Meiling both had a hand on the boy's shoulder. Tomoyo stood near, but without her video camera. There were tears in her eyes.

"Oh, my son," she whispered, and slowly, Syaoran turned around.

"Do you think... do you think she'll remember me at all?" he asked softly. "Do you think that she'll still—" He stopped as his mother shook her head slowly, remorsefully.

"Syaoran, your powers played an important role in the Mistress's life, no doubt. Your magic was always evident, and your relationship built on the essence of yours and Sakura's auras. Just like Keroberos and Yue, she will not remember you."

"So then I, too, must disappear," he answered, not moving from where he remained, wishing that somehow this was just a dream.

"It is not necessary, son. Keroberos and Yue had to vanish, but not you, because you are human. You will do what you feel is right... whatever you feel is best for her now, you will do." Yelan watched her son lower his head, his hand still holding onto Sakura's. Tomoyo looked to her and opened her mouth to speak, but Yelan shook her head. Touya had never liked the gaki, especially when the kid was near his little sister, but at this moment of despair, he felt a wave of compassion for Syaoran. He found he'd never truly hated the boy, and he understood that no one ever wanted to be forgotten.

"You promised I wouldn't lose you," Syaoran told Sakura.

"Gaki," came Touya's voice. Syaoran's head shot up, fearing the worst, but instead of meeting eyes that were cold and unforgiving, he felt that Sakura's brother at this moment no longer hated him. Touya stepped closer and opened his mouth to speak, but he never did. He squeezed Syaoran's shoulder gently as if to show reassurance and sympathy, and gave him a sad smiled before leaving the room.

What had he meant to say? Syaoran asked himself and then turned back to Sakura. "You promised," he whispered, "but it seems you won't even remember what you said before you sealed the Nothing."

Everyone left in the room watched silently, waiting as the scene unfolded, not daring to speak. Now Yelan, Meiling, and Tomoyo wondered what Sakura had said, their eyes meeting Fujitaka's who was asking the very same question. What was it she said?

"You promised you'd love me again, even after the Nothing took your feelings away." Yelan gaped for a few seconds, and Fujitaka just smiled a sad smile. He was glad Touya was no longer in the room to hear. "Open your eyes, Sakura, and tell me if you can keep that promise." Syaoran's voice choked in his throat and his words came out as a whispered plea. "Open your eyes, Sakura." And she stirred.

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Sakura was floating in a dream.

Everything was dark, but it was comforting. It was silent and warm, and every so often a drop of liquid blue light would fall before her, causing ripples of pale colour in the blackness. She continued to float in that dream, as if searching for something. She didn't understand, though, what it was she was looking for. Suddenly, a voice echoed across the darkness, and another drop of light fell. As the voice drew nearer, she could just barely pick out the words.

"You promised..." the voice whispered, but Sakura could not understand what it meant. "You promised..."

"What did I promise?" she asked. The voice was familiar, and yet it was not. "Who are you and what did I promise?" She swam through the blackness, searching for a way out, following the blue light that now seemed to resonate from one place.

"Open your eyes, Sakura," she heard the voice say, and the dream world faded.

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She opened her eyes to the sound of someone calling her name. What a familiar voice, she thought, just like that dream. But who was it? "Father?" she whispered, and she looked up to see Fujitaka standing over the couch. Suddenly aware of her surroundings, Sakura sat up. "Dad, what happened?" Fujitaka forced himself to smile a little. If she couldn't remember what happened, then she probably would not remember what Syaoran was talking about. Perhaps she would not even remember Syaoran at all... It was so sad...

"You told Tomoyo you were feeling ill," he answered softly, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand and checking if she 'still' had a fever. He was lying through his teeth and everyone except Sakura knew it. "You passed out when you two were walking here. You've been asleep for a while."

Sakura ran her hands through her hair, smoothing out her bangs. "Well, I feel much better now, at least." Her eyes searched the room and her gaze landed on the woman standing father from the couch. She had not seen Syaoran yet. "Dad, who is she?" she asked, referring to Yelan.

"This is Li Yelan, an old friend of mine from Hong Kong. She and her niece and son will be staying with us for a while." Yelan looked to Fujitaka, surprised. She'd never said they were staying. His eyes, though, she understood. They were telling her 'stay a little longer with us, and maybe we can set things right again, at least for your son's sake'. She nodded.

"Hello, Sakura." Yelan introduced herself and Sakura smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Li-sama." Now again, Sakura's gaze drifted over the room, landing on Syaoran, who had moved much closer to the door. The moment he felt her lay her eyes upon him, the last of his hope exploded into fire and dwindled down into nothing, as if the flame had been extinguished. "Who are you?" she asked him, and Syaoran's heart shattered that very instant. Yelan saw and knew, and spoke for him.

"This is my son, Syaoran. We've just come here from Hong Kong, and I'm afraid he still doesn't know very many people or his way around. Perhaps you could be kind enough to befriend him." Sakura smiled as Yelan flashed her son a look he could not fully understand, but in his head he heard her say, 'Don't stop hoping yet. You can start all over again if you truly must.' He looked at Sakura, and she mistook his heartbroken feeling for one of nervousness.

"Hajimemashita, Li-kun!" she chirped as she stood to bow, a large, friendly smile on her face. It was just like her... so happy... even if she had forgotten who he was.

"Hajimemashita," he answered softly, brokenly, not able to fully meet her gaze. "It's nice to meet you, Sakura-san," he said again, and inside, he was hurting more than his training with the elders in China ever did. "I hope we can be friends."

Sakura smiled. "Hai, Li-kun!" Syaoran winced inwardly.

"Mother," he whispered. "I forgot there are things I have to do before tomorrow. I must be going." Yelan was about to protest, but she could not hold her son to suffer. She could not choose for him. She nodded for his release. "Sayonara, Sakura-san," he said quickly and left without another word.

"Don't you think he seems a little shy, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura laughed as she turned to her best friend. The other girl forced a smile, her own heart shattered by the fact that Sakura could no longer remember the one she loved most.

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"Meiling!" Syaoran shouted as he entered the hotel room that he, his mother, and his cousin had planned to stay in before the Nothing came to Japan. It was already early evening. "Meiling, why did you leave without introducing yourself to Sakura?" His cousin looked up from what she was doing and smiled quietly. "What are you doing?" he asked, bewildered as he noticed she was packing her things neatly into the suitcase she'd brought.

"I am going home," she replied, matter-of-factly. Syaoran just stared. "Kinomoto-san needs her space, and so do you. So you are going to stay here, and I am going home to Hong Kong." She placed the last of her clothes into her bag, and Syaoran realized she even had a plane ticket with her. "When Kinomoto-san remembers, then I will go to meet her." Syaoran suddenly understood that Meiling really did care for Sakura as a friend. She was hurt by this as much as he was.

"Meiling—"

"You are going to make her remember, Syaoran," Meiling told him with eyes that dared him to go against her. "You are going to make her remember, or else I will not allow you to come home to Hong Kong. Don't you dare come home without Kinomoto-san." With that she walked past him, luggage and plane ticket in hand. "I'll see you soon, cousin." And she closed the door, leaving a confused Syaoran to stand alone with his thoughts.

"She left because she knew you needed your space," Yelan said, breaking the silence. Syaoran had not even noticed she'd entered the room. "We will be staying with the Kinomotos for now, so gather your things. Fujitaka-san is waiting in the lobby." He nodded obediently, and went to fetch his belongings.

As Syaoran was absentmindedly checking the last of his bags, there came a knock at the window, and surprisingly, outside there floated a tiny yellow plush. "Keroberos?" Syaoran asked as he opened the window. "What do you want?" The Guardian beast floated in; it looked as if he'd been recently crying.

"I need a place to stay," was all that Kero said.

"So you come to me?" Syaoran commented almost irately. "The only person you can turn to is the 'gaki'?" Kero did not reply, and Syaoran felt a wave of sympathy wash over him. It had not been more than a few some hours, and already Kero missed Sakura. Without his Mistress, there was no place for him to go.

"You miss her that much?" Syaoran asked.

"I could say the same for you." There was an uneasy moment of silence before either spoke again.

"My mother said we are staying with the Kinomotos now. I'm going back there... I can take you with me, if you'd like," Syaoran offered. "And you can pretend to be a stuffed animal, just like you used to." He noticed that Kero seemed at the point of tears. "Come on, don't cry. You've pretended plenty of times."

"But I've never had to hide from Sakura."

Kero froze when a bellboy entered the room to take Syaoran's luggage downstairs. With no words of agreement, but a mutual understanding, Syaoran picked up Kero and carried him out the door. All they way, the guardian was pretending to be nothing more than a toy.

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After dinner, her father had left to go somewhere and Touya was at his new job, so Sakura sat alone in her room, wondering about the boy she'd met that afternoon. Those eyes seemed familiar somehow, but she was sure she'd never met him. It was something that puzzled her, and continued to puzzle her even as she gave in to sleep.

Suddenly, she was in that dark world again. "Hoe?" It was a strange feeling, but she knew it from before... when she'd first heard that voice calling her. The liquid blue light returned, rippling the blackness that offered comfort and a sense of security.

"You promised, Sakura," someone told her. "You promised to remember..."

It was so confusing... those words... what did they mean? Who was speaking to her? Sakura did not understand, but through the darkness, a pair of amber spheres shone brightly, sadly. As she approached she saw that they were not merely orbs, but eyes... of a person whose face remained in shadow. "You promised," the voice said, resonating in her ears. "Sakura..."

"Who are you?!" Sakura shouted and her dream vaporized into a deep sleep.

Outside her door, Fujitaka and Yelan were listening, and they had clearly heard her ask 'Who are you?' to a person in her dream... and they understood.

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"Ohayou gozaimasu, Sakura-san."

"Hoe?" At the table sat a few more people than usual, and suddenly, she remembered that her father had invited guests to stay with them. "Ohayou, Li-sama, Li-kun." She smiled and sat in her place. "Ohayou, otou-san, oni-chan." She looked over at Syaoran and saw something sitting on the table beside him. "Oh, what a cute stuffed animal!" she exclaimed, and Kero's heart almost broke.

"This?" Syaoran asked. "It's... well, it's a present for you," he said quietly. "Since you said we'd be friends, I thought I'd get you a gift..." He handed Kero over to Sakura. "Be careful; Kero is quite a delicate toy." Sakura took the yellow plush gently in her hands and proceeded to examine it.

"Kero? Is that its name? It doesn't seem to resemble a frog..." She smiled again. "But it's so cute! Kero-chan... Arigatou, Li-kun!" Sakura chirped and set Kero down on the table. Syaoran nodded and forced himself to smile. Now Kero could stay with Sakura... and half the little guardian's problems were solved... almost. Fujitaka and Yelan excused themselves to speak in private about something, and Touya left for his job once again, leaving Sakura and Syaoran alone. "Do you want to go to the park, Li-kun?" Sakura asked, and he did not speak right away from his surprise.

"I... well, I..."

"If you're busy, that's okay, Li-kun. You don't have to come with me..." Though she smiled, there was a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"It's okay," Syaoran quickly commented. "I'll go."

Little did Syaoran of anyone else know Sakura invited him for a reason. She wanted to make sense of that dream that returned and that familiar feeling she felt whenever she stood near the amber eyed boy. She wanted to understand what it all meant.

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A/N: Well, that's it for this part... actually, when I started writing I meant this to be a one-shot fic that was relatively long, but it's already September and I have to give my laptop away for a few days to the tech ppl at my school so they can reconfigure it 4 the network... That's why I have to split this into two or three parts because I can't possibly finish writing before then. ;;

Please RxR, thanx!

Cat :)


	2. I'll Love You

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS...

This fic will actually be split into three parts because it just seems easier at the moment... It's getting just a lil difficult to find time for ANYTHING... O.o Hope u like part two! :) RxR, PLZ! That way, I'll be more inspired to finish the ending! This chapter has a little more insight on what on earth Eriol is doing, and what he thinks about all this... though it's probably not helpful much to the plot anyway... I also had to find a way to deal with the problem of Yukito-san... Tomoyo won't be in this chap, sorry.

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**Part Two: I'll Love You**

"Do you think, perhaps, that Sakura's dreams..."

"Are reminding her of something she's forgotten?" Yelan finished Fujitaka's question as they sat together in the lounge. "There may be meaning in her dreams that we, ourselves, can help her discover, but perhaps for now it is best we do not interfere."

Fujitaka nodded, and as if by some unseen force of both premonition and telepathy, something struck him mentally from behind. He jumped up from the sofa. "Tsukishiro-san!" he said, part way between a dead voice of realization and a shout of panic.

"Tsukishiro Yukito?" Yelan asked.

"Yes... Sakura... Sakura used to..." Fujitaka could not find the proper words for this particular instant. He was quite fond of Tsukishiro, but he knew it was Li-san's son that Sakura belonged to, rightfully by fate. "Until she met your son, Syaoran... Sakura used to think she was in love with Tsukishiro-san."

"Oh my," Yelan breathed. Fujitaka was right. Sakura once thought she loved Yukito, and now that Syaoran no longer existed in her memories, could it be that she..? There was a tautness in the air that did not dissipate. "I suppose we will have to wait and take the outcome as it is," Yelan whispered. For Fujitaka, it was both premonition and telepathy. The instant he'd realized this one extra twist to Sakura's fate, the outcome was already beginning.

He was lucky the stars were not crossed.

----------

Syaoran and Sakura walked silently to the park, Sakura still carrying Kero in her hands as if he were a stuffed toy. Every so often Syaoran would find himself staring at her, and half of that time, she'd be looking at him. There was something in both their eyes that mirrored each other, Kero realized. Sadness, confusion, wonder, hope...

Syaoran wondered if Sakura would ever remember, or if she'd even touched the slightest memory when she first laid eyes on him after the Nothing was sealed. He hurt to think that she broke her promise, even unwillingly, and that she no longer loved him. Every moment, every step he took towards the park, a thousand thoughts, a thousand questions, forced themselves upon his reluctant mind. Would she ever remember? Would she ever be the same again? Did she even feel the loss she now carried, no longer the powerful Card Mistress of the Clow Cards? Sakura would never love him again, would she?

No, the darker half of his heart and soul cried. No, she wouldn't. She never would... She would not keep her promise, and yet, though that inside him seemed to shout so bitterly against him, there was one part of him that whispered. Yes, she would. And so he did not lose hope.

Sakura did not know what burned below those amber eyes, but she, too, felt the mirrored power, emotion, that she and Syaoran shared.

There was something Sakura felt inside her heart, deep in the shadowed part of her soul, something that was forgotten. But she did not know what it was. When her eyes met Li's, something powerful coursed between them. She wondered what it was; she wondered about the dream she had. Those amber eyes reminded her of Li. Who was that who called out to her in her dreams? What promise had she made? Why was it that a part of her felt empty... as if whatever had been there was sucked from her? It brought a sadness she did not understand.

Her questions troubled her, but as she walked she could not help but feel a measure of hope. One day soon she would understand.

They continued to walk, and a voice interrupted their silent pace. Syaoran nearly froze.

"Ohayou, Sakura-chan!" Yukito shouted as he met them at the bridge to the park. "Ohayou, Li-kun." Syaoran could not meet Yukito's gaze, nor could he bring himself to reply. He could not even look at Sakura, for the fear of seeing what he feared the most was overpowering. Kero did not fail to notice this. Both magician and the Clow Guardian braced themselves for what could possibly end it all.

Syaoran mentally kicked himself. He didn't even realize that Yukito-san... Did Sakura love Tsukishiro... again?

"Ohayou, Yukito-san," Sakura replied. She smiled, but there was no sparkle in her eyes. There was no glow of feeling as Kero remembered it. She didn't blush. She didn't beam with quiet love as she spoke. "Onii-chan went to work this morning and said you could come over for dinner... since we've already got guests..." Something struck Sakura as she mentioned it, and she stole a side-glance to Li, but she did not bring it up.

"That's great," Yukito replied. "I'll bring desert."

Syaoran and Kero gaped inwardly at what had happened. Neither would believe fate could be so merciful, as Yukito, he who would have and could have but didn't steal Sakura away from Li Syaoran, hopped back onto his bicycle and rode down the street. Sakura didn't even laugh and wave, and turn around blushing with stars in her eyes.

Kero gave Syaoran a look, as if he meant to say, "What the ...just happened?!"

Syaoran's eyes replied, "I don't know... but I can't believe it. I will find a way to ask about it." And they kept on walking.

----------

They sat on the swings, staring idly at everything and nothing, like a shy couple out on their first date. The wind was the only voice, and Syaoran continued to watch Sakura. She seemed deep in thought... enshrouded by some small mass of confusion that had suddenly grown ten times its size.

"Sakura-san," he began, but she cut her off.

"Why did Yukito-san know your name, Li-kun?" she asked, almost absently. "Did you meet him before?"

"I... well, I..."

Kero sat unmoving on Sakura's lap, in a state somewhere between giving Syaoran a look of complete and utter sympathy, and throwing him bouts of cynical laughter. He couldn't decide what would be more proper for the occasion, so Kero, maintaining his stuffed animal guise, contented himself with watching what Syaoran would say. He was rather disappointed when Sakura spoke up first.

"Never mind, Li-kun, it doesn't matter."

"Sakura-san?"

"Hai, Li-kun?"

"Do you like Yukito-san?" he asked, his breath on a rush to keeping him from backing out of the question.

"What do you mean, Li-kun?" Typical, dense Sakura.

"He just... he seemed like that type of person... I was wondering if you... liked... you maybe... loved him..." Sakura mistook the catches in Syaoran's voice for whatever else she could have thought it was.

"Of course not, Li-kun," she replied, but she was not indignantly blushing when she said it. That made it truth, no? "Yukito-san's like a big brother to me. Besides, Yukito-san loves onii-chan, and 'nii-chan loves him," she said, smiling her buoyant smile. To Syaoran that was the greatest relief. But why was it like that? He wondered for a moment. Why did Sakura remember Yukito, but not love him as she once did? What happened?

His answers came, for he glanced back behind him and Sakura and saw, for only a moment, the image of Yue standing between the trees. Yue smiled at Syaoran, a rather melancholy smile, but his eyes revealed that there was some hope, some fulfillment, in them. Syaoran smiled back with his eyes only, and the Moon Guardian vanished. Now he understood.

Silence dropped again, heavily; the only voice accompanying the wind was the sound of creaking chains, metal-upon-metal; it rose and fell steadily from the swing set. Somewhere during their walk out to Penguin Park, it had become cloudy, and both Sakura and Syaoran were too consumed by their wonderings that neither realized until now. The clouds gathered, as if a counterpoint to the storm of confusion.

What was that dream about? Sakura screamed inwardly. Who was that talking to me? What promise did I make? To who? To her silent questions came silent replies... of nothing. There were no answers. So she continued to sit, swinging, staring at the grey skies, lost in her own imaginings. Who was that talking to me? What promise did I make? To who? Somebody answer me... tell me! This dream, though she'd only had it twice, plagued her, vexed her. She felt trapped in the darkness of unknowing, and she didn't know a way out. The dream seemed so important, but to what?

What was wrong with her?

Syaoran watched Sakura's features contort from a serene smile to a twisted frown of confusion, frustration... Her eyes seemed fixed on nothing yet concentrating on something. He smiled for a moment, remembering how long he'd known her, but that smile was shattered when some distant voice reminded him he didn't know her anymore. For some reason, he wanted to know what she was thinking. At least he did not have to ask.

"Li-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"I know it must be weird for me to ask," she said quietly, "but have you ever had a dream... like a dream that plagued you at night, and you couldn't understand what it meant? And for some reason you feel as if you need to find out?" Syaoran nodded. "What should I do about it, Li-kun?"

You should stop calling me Li, first. I'm Syaoran, he thought silently, sadly. "I don't know... maybe you should think it through. Listen to your heart."

"What does that mean?" Sakura asked.

"My mother once told me that if you listen to your heart, it gives you all the answers. It whispers them." Their eyes met and held for a moment, and then Sakura broke away. "Can I ask what your dream was about?"

"Oh, nothing," she replied softly. Then she turned to face him and laughed. "Wanna get some ice cream on the way back?" Syaoran smiled, and Sakura laughed, and then she grabbed his hand and ran off down the street, a near-paralysis stricken Syaoran being dragged like a second stuffed animal, next to Keroberos. Kero was laughing inwardly, but there was a serious part of him that told him he wouldn't get to eat any of that ice cream...

----------

In England, far across the waters and the land that separated Clow's reincarnation from his descendant, sat a house inhabited by the magic once belonging to Clow Reed. This house, on this secluded street, in this quiet area, was far from being just secluded and quiet. It lay in a realm of its own, where magic met the world, where fate met the living, where three souls watched and waited for the final outcome to unfold. They could see, and hear, but they could do nothing else.

"Is this the fate of which you spoke?" Ruby Moon asked her Master, who was seated in the library of this home, a look of forbearance sweeping his features. She stood behind him, the black Guardian beast named Spinel Sun at her side. "Is this what was destined to happen?"

"It is fate," Eriol replied.

"But what will become of this fate?" Spinel asked, his night-black coat, in the midst of these dark, unknowing hours, had lost its regal shine. "What will happen now that the new Mistress cannot remember her past, her powers?" He bore his questions into Eriol, knowing there would be no certain answer.

"There is nothing I can know, Spinel Sun... I, too, must wait and watch."

Ruby Moon stood to face the window, the light from the icon in whose name she was created glowed brilliantly against the panes of glass. One star in the sky did not glow as brightly as it once did. Sakura's star. "How sad," she whispered, "that it must turn out this way."

"Can it not be changed?" Spinel asked.

"It is fate," Eriol replied again. The silence descended upon the night, but there were still matters to be argued.

Spinel Sun enveloped himself in thought, and then sprang from it like a set trap. "But Keroberos was right, Eriol-san," he said strongly, as if daring fate itself to question him. "Clow Reed did not create the cards to cause human pain. He did not make them so the people who held them would suffer."

"That's true," Eriol answered. "But I cannot foresee what will become of this."

Ruby Moon seemed to contemplate this, her dark red eyes lost in the shrouds of wonder, pity, and hope. Though she had not known the Mistress as Keroberos or Yue had, she still knew Sakura. She cared about her. She respected her as she did her own master, Hiiragizawa Eriol. It was saddening to think this would be the cycle of fate forever, each time the cards were possessed by another magician, they would lose it all to the void of Nothing. How could the other magician boy stand it? How could he stand knowing that the one he loved sacrificed her memories to save the world she cared so much for? How could he stand knowing she could no longer remember him, let alone love him? It was all so painful.

"So this is what they call fate," Ruby Moon finally whispered. "Such a pitiful thing."

"Maybe not," Eriol replied quietly. "We can only hope." Not another word was spoken as Eriol closed his eyes.

In a few hours, dawn would light the eastern sky. The sun would rise, but the darkness would not disappear. Eriol shared Li Syaoran's pain. Li was, after all, his own blood descendant. The world around them would wake from their untroubled slumber, and another day of wondering and hoping would begin. For the first time in so long, Eriol felt completely helpless. Completely, utterly helpless. There was nothing he could do to help. Although he wanted to, he was not allowed to interfere.

----------

"Tadaima!" Sakura shouted from the front steps.

She skidded into the kitchen with a less-than-energetic Syaoran trailing four or five paces behind. Fujitaka, Touya, and Yelan looked up from their business. "Onii-chan, I met Yukito-san this morning," she told her brother, and missed that Fujitaka and Yelan both drew a sharp intake of breath. But Syaoran held no reaction. "He said he'd be glad to come for supper. He's going to bring desert."

Touya nodded. Yelan and Fujitaka watched Sakura and Syaoran. Sakura was not enveloped in a starry sense of love when she said Tsukishiro's name. Syaoran did not seem alarmed, or worried, or stricken with newfound heartbreak. It was perplexing.

Yelan, nearing supper, finally took her son aside. "What happened?" she asked. "Kinomoto-san told me about Sakura and Tsukishiro... what happened when you met him?"

"Nothing," he whispered.

"What do you mean, Syaoran?" she asked.

"Yue changed something," he answered in a voice too low to be heard by anyone except his mother standing beside him. "I don't know what he changed, but he had some power over it. He changed something. He didn't tell me, but when I saw him, I knew... I just knew." Suddenly, Yelan smiled.

"You're a lucky boy that the Master of Judgement favours you," she said. Her smile was something rare, and Syaoran felt that distant hope grow larger. "I understand, now, what he did as well. I will tell Kinomoto-san. You should be thankful... Syaoran." Syaoran nodded, and they joined the Kinomotos and Tsukishiro Yukito for supper. Syaoran was lucky; Sakura did not love Yukito-san as they thought she would. He had Yue to thank for that.

----------

"So Yue did twist fate," Ruby Moon observed. "I didn't think he'd have the power..."

"You're forgetting that Kinomoto's son gave Yue the power to survive," Spinel Sun replied. "That power is strong enough to both sustain him and help him do as he pleases with many other powers... like that of fate."

"Such things are dangerous," she replied, her ruby eyes glowing. "Is it right to tamper with things so? Are we allowed to cheat?"

"No, we are not," Eriol replied, not looking from the window he was currently gazing out. "But Sakura would not be having that dream if destiny did not mean for her to remember. Yue is a stubborn soul, and he is less likely to heed to fate than Keroberos. He changed what he could, but I'm afraid Yue cannot do no more."

"He did what he could, and it was a great much," Ruby said softly. "Like the magician boy, I am also thankful."

Eriol smiled as he thought of this.

----------

That night, the essence of Sakura's dream changed.

She was floating, yes, in that same darkness, with the same voice and the amber eyes that called out to her. "You promised," it said. "You promised to remember." The blackness was mundane; Sakura had long since grown used to it. She floated for what seemed like eternities, watching the ripples of liquid blue light scatter in all directions, listening to the voice that called for her. And yet... and yet she could not understand. She could not remember what it bade her to.

She pleaded to be shown what it all meant. She begged the languid darkness to show her what she could not see, and as if answering to her pleas, the black abyss faded into another dream... another reality, where lost memories still lived.

Sakura walked alone down the sunny Tomoeda streets, the white pavement reflecting the light so brightly she almost had to shield her eyes. She crossed the bridge alone, and stopped to stare into the rushing water below. It rushed and tumbled over the rocky bottom of the stream, splashing and crashing against the banks. But the only company she saw was her own reflection.

It was quiet, but in the background, as if it were only whispering by on the wind, she heard voices. She heard laughter. But when she looked, she was alone. Sakura crossed over to the Penguin Park, where the slide stood prominent in the centre of it all. Something drew her to it... something reminded her that this place was important. Many things happened here, it was just that she could not remember.

"Sakura-chan?" Someone called her name. "Sakura, where are you?"

The voice was familiar. It was someone she knew... but who was it?

"Who are you?" she asked the summer air.

"Sakura? You promised..."

She tried to follow the voice, circling the penguin slide, once, twice. She called out to the person who called her, but received no answer.

"Where did you go?" Sakura asked, but she was still alone. Summer faded as she stood and wondered, and as she searched for something she couldn't remember. The bold summer leaves turned gold and orange before they fell and died to thick carpets on the ground below. "Who are you?" she asked.

It was autumn now, the crisp air seemed to crackle as she breathed it in.

She walked alone again, this time to a shrine she somehow knew was there. In the centre of that shrine was a large tree, a red knot tied around its trunk. Something happened here, before, something, many things, happened at this shrine... but Sakura could not remember.

"Don't you remember this place, Sakura?" A voice called out to her again. It was the same one as before. "Don't you remember any of it?"

"Who are you?" she replied, but the wind answered incoherently. "What should I remember?"

The leaves of gold and orange, and red and yellow danced in the breeze, scattering across the stone paths. She walked down each one of them, thinking, wondering, but not remembering. A figure with deep amber eyes stood beneath that tree in the centre, unmoving, only watching her. She continued to stare back, each second bringing her closer to that jolt when she would remember. That person's name danced just beyond her reach... yet it was not just a name that seemed important.

"Sakura-chan," it said. "You promised..."

But before she could reply, the person disappeared. So did the sun, and the leaves.

Snow was falling when she looked around again, and again she was alone. The snowflakes danced as they fell, the wind picking them up and swirling them into little drifts on the street. The street lights were on, and Sakura found herself returning home. But as she walked, she heard footsteps. They followed. They moved when she moved, and stopped when she did.

"Who's there?" she called, but in the shadows between the street lights, no one answered.

She continued to walk, turning every second moment to check who was behind her, but each time she was alone. And then she reached her house. Sakura opened the door and stepped inside. It was eerily quiet.

"Tadaima!" she shouted, but no one answered. "Hoe? Where did everyone go?" The living room was empty. The kitchen was empty. The bedrooms were empty. Suddenly, there was a noise in the main foyer. She slipped down the stairs to find the front door open.

"Sakura-chan?" that voice called. "Are you home?"

"Who are you?" she replied. "Where are you?" But whoever it was had vanished.

The snow melted, then, as if these were the seasons of her life, constantly changing. Always different. The falling snow became a light drizzle, and then the heavy downpour of spring. The cherry blossoms danced on the tree branches, scattering like confetti on the grass below.

"Sakura," a voice said again, and beneath the cherry blossom trees, she turned and found herself facing a pair of amber eyes. "You promised to remember..."

"Who are you?" she whispered, in wonder and dismay, for even through the seasons she could not remember who he was. "Who?" Spring faded into the darkness of the other dream, and that dream faded into sleep. Yet she still did not understand.

"Who are you?"

In his own sleep, Syaoran tried to answer her. Kero did nothing but watch.

----------

Author's Notes: Sorry I had to end it here! There's still one more part to go, and I probably won't be posting it for another week... This chap was pretty inactive, but I needed it as a filler... so to speak. Just to explain Eriol's whereabouts and Yukito's role in all of this... S&S fans, the NEXT part has what you want to read, k? Right now I gotta finish off some other stuff that's NON-fanfiction related... x.X

Oh, and just for fun, since I do have a lot of the third and final chap done, here are some things that will happen next time... the ending shall remain a mystery until then...

PREVIEW #1:

_On her desk there lay a stack of cards... she picked one up and read its name. _

"_Dream," she whispered, and a strange, almost magical feeling surrounded her. Everything went black, and in that darkness she heard the echo of a thousand words and visions, but only some had meaning she could understand. _

PREVIEW #2:

_Fujitaka and Touya burst up the stairs as Sakura had screamed, only to find her backing out of her room, the Clow book and the cards scattered over the floor. "Sakura!" She turned around, almost oblivious to her father and brother, and ran._

PREVIEW #3:

"_One day, Sakura," Syaoran whispered to himself, "you'll remember me again, and when you do, I'll still be waiting." He walked through the air terminal slowly behind his mother. Yelan felt her son's grief, but he had chosen what he thought was right. Sakura no longer remembered. She no longer needed him. He would leave her to her life. It would be better that way._

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PLZ RxR! Thanx! :)

Cat


	3. Again

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS...

A/N: Just to uphold... THIS IS AN AU FANFIC. Please keep that in mind while reading this... I'm sorry to penname who said they'd like to see more than three chapters here, but I did have this planned out, and though there were a few things I thought I could add to the plot, it would have lost some of its potential... plus I would lose the effect of the three part title. Sorry!

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**Part Three: Again**

_Four years ago, the world was a different place._

_It was grey morning, a chilly one, I remember, when my life's path first intertwined with another that would change my life. The wind was beating wildly at the door, and the clouds, menacing in their masses, left me in the shadows to contemplate their meaning. I remember listening to the wind and staring at those shadows, thinking of nothing and everything that existed. Outside, it was what one would call a day of despondent gloom. Ah, my life was always gloomy, always dark, always cold, and for so long it did not change. I did not want it to change._

_But I was ten years old, then, and I did not understand the hidden secrets of life._

_Clad in green and gold and white, with determination in my eyes and a sword clutched in my hand, I was a magician seeking to capture the Cards of Clow Reed. All my life I'd been trained to be a warrior, to be merciless, to be heartless, to be cold. My father was the same way. He lived, he trained, and he died that way, and it was to be my path as well. I left my home, my sisters, and my mother in Hong Kong, and I journeyed into Japan, to a small town called Tomoeda. I went in search of those Clow Cards, and the magic that I wanted to bring into the Li family, only to find that another was answering their same call. And it was a girl. _

_I met this other Cardcaptor on a night where the clouds had finally dispersed. The moon glowed eerily, but I did not heed its warning when I stepped into the presence of this girl. She was chosen by Keroberos. She had auburn hair and emerald eyes so innocent yet powerful enough to light the east and western skies and bring the sprite of darkness down onto his knees. Even if she did not have so much experience as I with magic, those green eyes glowed with their own silent assurance. I remembered the battle she fought that night. With The Shadow, she captured The Thunder Card, and my mind still evokes the image all too clearly of her silhouette poised against that white celestial body that possessed the night sky. She was no weak little girl. She was something else. She was a Cardcaptor... a true Cardcaptor._

_We were only ten when we met each other, and yet we both had responsibilities reaching far beyond that of the average child. From the moment I met her, the moment I looked into those emerald eyes, we became naught but rivals for the most powerful source of magic known on the living Earth. But then she surpassed me. She, chosen by the Guardian of the Sun, defeated the Guardian of the Moon in the battle of the Final Judgement, and she became the Mistress of the Cards. But something happened. Something vital changed my life._

_My name is Li Syaoran, and I fell in love with the Card Mistress._

_It's been four years since that day, when I looked into her challenge and failed to take the Cards as my own. Four years have passed, and that powerful love that burned between us, held us, brought light and happiness to us, has been vanquished by a force too strong to fight. Kinomoto Sakura, the Mistress of the Cards, sacrificed it all to save the world from the void of Nothing. She no longer remembers who she was and what she'd done. And she no longer remembers me._

_She smiles when she speaks, but something is missing. Those emerald eyes still compel even the gods to bow before her, but in those bright green depths, something is gone. She does not remember the power she still has. Her kindness is what compelled her to befriend me, but she cannot see—she cannot know—how painful it is for me to look, to speak, to be, in her presence. Suddenly, my life is gloomy again... it is dark and cold. Oh, the truths I have learned about life; the things my elders could never have taught me. A mortal wound is painful, but I never knew a heart could break without bleeding mortal blood. She cannot remember me._

_My name is Li Syaoran, and I am lost._

----------

Days passed, and then a week, and soon summer would begin to bleed into autumn.

A soft rapping came at the window to Sakura's room. It drew Kero's attention to the glass, and outside on the ledge, perched upon a mini parapet, sat Yue. He tapped on the glass twice again, knowing that Sakura was not in the house. Keroberos transformed into the winged beast he was, and opened the window.

"Hope is failing us, isn't it, Keroberos?" Yue smiled a melancholy smile. "We've been waiting for her, but the Mistress seems to be happy with the life she has. What if, perhaps subconsciously, she does not want to remember us at all?"

Keroberos shook his head. It was not a shake of negation, but not one of agreement either. "Don't think of such things," he whispered. "But can you—?"

"I cannot. I've twisted fate as much as I can by destroying the ties between my human form and the Mistress. I cannot sin against fate anymore. Clow Reed would not be pleased with me even now."

Yue sat upon Sakura's bed, not looking at anything in particular. Shrouded in his silver-white wings, his blue eyes were lost deep in contemplation. He knew that even though he loved his old master, Clow Reed, he cared a great much for his new mistress. Even if he had gone against Clow's will, against his rules, and changed some small working of fate, Yue would face the deed a second time if it meant a service to Sakura. He would do it again... if he could.

"I don't know what you are thinking when you're like that, Yue," Keroberos laughed, tightly, as the guardian beast had not so much as smiled since... he couldn't remember when. "The problem is that we've only been hoping. Aside from you sparing us the love of Sakura for Tsukishiro, we have done nothing else." There was silence, as Yue did not reply, and he remained in silent contemplation. And then Kero tucked his wings behind his back to make way as the Moon Guardian stood.

"Where are the Cards?" Yue asked.

"In the Clow Book, of course, on the shelf over there." Kero pointed, and Yue retrieved it, breaking open the latch with his magic. The cards seemed confused; they stirred, but they did not retaliate. They remained sealed with their Mistress's signature. One by one, the Moon Guardian drew them from the book and laid them on the table, being careful not to disturb their magic with his own. "What are you doing?" Keroberos asked, a small fear rising and falling, giving way to the beginning of panic.

"This," Yue replied, "is how to alter fate without actually changing it."

"By what do you mean?"

"It is a great risk for me taking the Cards from the Clow Book," Yue told Kero. "Especially when they are under the Mistress's seal. But they are only confused, and their power is not dangerous. They are not angry. By rights, when the Cards sleep, only their Mistress would be allowed to wake them... but Keroberos, my brother, we are changing the rules." The hidden truth of Yue was revealed.

And Keroberos smiled.

----------

Eriol was smiling in his chair again.

Spinel Sun watched, confounded, the book he had been reading lay discarded at his paws. "Is something amusing, Master?" he asked, his wings stirring as the black beast stood and stretched. Ruby Moon looked back from the window she had been staring out, but it was not the evening sky that she watched so intently. That window was a gate across the world.

Eriol only continued to smile.

"The Master sees what I can only see looking through this window," Ruby said to Spinel. "Though he wants so much to do it, Yue's magic is not strong enough to fight the fates a second time..." She took a sip of the plum wine she was holding, the crystal glass glinting in the last light of the evening sun.

"And that is a reason to smile?" Spinel asked, slightly annoyed.

"That is not the point, Spinel Sun," she replied. "Come look for yourself." Spinel joined her at the window, and gazed not upon the quiet streets of an England town, but a vortex of time and space leading to the one scene that kept Ruby transfixed at the window. "Yue is not strong enough... but he has found another way to cheat. Very admirable of him, I think."

Spinel's eyes widened for only a moment. "I suppose Yue doesn't realize how dangerous it is to disturb the sleeping Cards? Only their Mistress is supposed to do so."

"He knows quite well the dangers, Spinel, and that is why he is so admirable."

Through the glass, they watched as Yue took the Cards from the book, being intent on preserving their Mistress's seal and not disturbing their magic with his. When the last one was placed upon the table, he mouthed something inaudible, but in the all-hearing ears of that glass that played their drama, Yue's voice resounded like a midnight rain upon the rooftops. "May Clow Reed forgive me for this," he whispered, and left Sakura's room through the window. Keroberos remained in his beast form for only a few seconds more, staring at the Cards, and then in a rush of golden-white wings, he returned to his stuffed-animal form.

"I just wish I could understand his intent," Ruby Moon whispered. "Clow created a formidable servant... though I wish I could understand how waking the Cards will affect the outcome of fate..."

"The answer, Ruby, is quite simple," Eriol suddenly replied, "You will see." And he did not say anymore than that.

The last light of the eve disappeared to a thin line on the horizon. "Yue is a remarkable one, indeed," Ruby Moon whispered again. "Master Reed was his creator, yes, but this creation has learned to grow and think... it is amazing, his stubbornness, and confusing why he wears so many masks... and yet when those masks disappear... It is as if he is someone completely different. Keroberos could learn a great much from his brother. Oh, I do wish one day I will have the chance to meet this Yue..."

"If only he knew you watched him so fondly from this window, Ruby..." Spinel sighed, feigning forbearance. "You shower him with too much affection, you know."

"That is fate," Ruby smiled. "If he succeeds in his latest exploit, he will have deserved every word."

The first star appeared as if to mark her declaration and Eriol continued smiling.

----------

Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran sat together on the deserted steps of Tomoeda Middle School. It would only be another two weeks before the new semester started. But as lively as their conversations were that morning, Syaoran felt the distance growing. He knew he couldn't stay forever.

"Li-kun, are you going to stay for school in Tomoeda?" Sakura asked all too suddenly.

"I don't think so... I had only planned to stay for the summer when I came here."

"Oh," she replied. "I never did ask if you were visiting someone."

Tomoyo allowed herself to be silent as her best friend spoke to the boy she loved but could not remember. "I was here to visit someone," Syaoran said quietly. "But then... something happened. Something really bad happened... and I suppose... I've spoken to her, yes, but it's as if we never knew each other. It's heartbreaking, really," he confided. "She promised she wouldn't forget..."

Something struck Sakura then. Her mind reeled for only a moment as something flashed through her head. "Something bad happened," she whispered inaudibly, and against her will and fate's, an image evoked itself in her conscience. There was a girl and a boy standing on top of the radio tower. "Something bad happened..." The girl jumped from the tower, the boy screamed, and there was a spirit with hollow grey-violet eyes. "She promised to remember..." The image of her dream played before her, as if the outside world melted away into blackness. "You promised..." Sakura wanted to scream with frustration, confusion, as she faced those amber eyes, but then in a flash of reality, those amber eyes melted into the eyes of Li Syaoran.

He was grasping her shoulders and shaking her slightly. "Sakura-san? Daijoubu? What just happened?" he asked, but inside, he had an idea. If she didn't remember him now, then she would never remember.

"I don't really know," she replied, her emerald eyes still glazed. "It was the weirdest thing..." And Syaoran's heart fell.

"Perhaps you are ill again, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said softly. "Maybe we should take you home."

Syaoran nodded silently and helped Sakura to her feet.

----------

"Home so early?" Fujitaka asked when the trio came into the kitchen of the Kinomoto residence. Yelan looked up from the book she was reading. She had almost grown accustomed to the lost look in her son's eyes.

"Sakura-chan was not feeling well," Tomoyo replied softly. "We thought it would be best she came home."

"Oh? Are you alright, Sakura?" her father asked. She nodded indecisively.

"I'm going to lie down on the couch for a while."

"Good," Tomoyo replied. "I need to talk to Li-kun outside."

No one could utter another word before Daidouji dragged Li out the front door. On the front steps, they sat down, and Tomoyo sighed. "Do you know how heartbreaking it is to watch you two?" she whispered. "She can't remember... I've tried, Li-kun, to say things and do things to trigger any memory she might have left... but it's not enough. I'm so sorry, Li-kun. I'm so useless."

"No, you aren't." Syaoran replied without looking at her.

"Yes, I am. I can't help you, and I can't help Sakura... What are you going to do now, Li-kun?"

He didn't answer her for almost a minute. "I don't know."

"She will remember one day, though."

"And I will wait however long it takes... But for now... I can't..." He stopped, and the true depth of his wounds showed clearly in his eyes. "It's been a pleasure knowing you, Daidouji-san," he said quietly, and then stood and went back inside.

"Li-kun, I'm sorry," Tomoyo whispered, but no one heard.

----------

Two days passed, and there came a knock that morning on Sakura's bedroom door.

"Hai?" she replied to it, and Syaoran poked his head inside. He looked upset, but he was masking it.

"Sakura-san, I just came to tell you that my mother and I are going back to Hong Kong tomorrow. I thought I'd ask you and Daidouji-san if you wanted to go somewhere this afternoon, just so I can say good-bye to both of you properly. You've been a great friend, Sakura-san."

Sakura didn't say anything for a while. She'd expected herself to feel sad when Syaoran finally left, but she didn't expect... Something in her heart hurt more than it should have, as if she were losing something important. Something deep inside her was breaking at that moment, but she didn't understand what. "Sure," she said quietly.

Syaoran closed the door again when he left, and Sakura stared listlessly at her clock.

"You've forgotten what you told me about Meiling-chan?" Tomoyo asked while they waited for Sakura to get ready. "She won't be happy with you."

"I'll face her and whatever she has to say," Syaoran said, not taking his eyes of the beige coloured wall which seemed to him suddenly very intriguing. "But there's nothing I can do whether I'm here or home in Hong Kong. I said before that I'll wait however long it takes."

Upstairs, Sakura was still lost. She didn't know why it hurt so much that Li was leaving, but it did. It hurt, and she couldn't deny that. And for the past two weeks that dream that plagued her nights kept getting more vivid, more demanding, more confusing. What did it all mean? As she dressed, she couldn't stop thinking about Li, and about the dream. There was a connection; she just couldn't see it.

"What is going on?" she hissed, and Kero only watched. "I wish I knew," she answered herself, and then went downstairs.

Keroberos heard the front door open, and then close, and footsteps leave the driveway onto the street, and after that, he expected what came next. Yue was again sitting outside the window, his face looking even less composed than before. It was like the old Yue was a mask, and it was slowly melting away. The Moon Guardian tapped on the glass twice, and Kero opened the window.

"The boy is leaving tomorrow," Keroberos told his brother.

"I know."

"Then our—your second plan has failed... funny, it failed and I did not even know what it was."

Yue shook his head and took a seat upon the window's ledge, keeping the curtains shut behind him should some unwary passer-by look up and see the wings of a Moon Guardian pressed against the glass. "We have one more day to hope, Keroberos. Don't forget that."

"I won't."

The magic of the Cards stirred again, as Kero felt them doing for the last week. They were growing restless, and even more confused. They knew something was wrong with their Mistress, but she never summoned them and so they could do nothing. The two guardians sat in silence for what seemed like hours. "We've done all that we can, Yue," Kero finally said, and his brother nodded.

"I will not give up hoping until tomorrow."

"I will not give up hoping at all."

And they did not know that all this time, they were being watched, and their resolve being admired.

----------

"So fate is a pitiful thing after all," Ruby said. No one asked or answered because they knew. "Tomorrow the magician boy is leaving Tomoeda... It's tearing him up inside. How sad, that Keroberos and Yue are so strong... I know if my Master were to forget... If he were to disappear... I would have long ceased my existence."

She closed her eyes, and then, opening them again, she threw the curtains shut almost violently. "Why did you do that?" Spinel asked.

"I can watch no more of this," she replied, and reached to pour herself another glass of plum wine.

"That is a weakness showing, Ruby Moon," the winged cat remarked.

"Human emotion is a weakness. I cannot help it that I was created to feel such a tragic thing." There was silence, then, until Eriol broke it.

"Human emotion is not a weakness, Ruby, but a strength. You will see its power soon enough." As an afterthought, Eriol raised a hand and with his magic he drew open the curtains from where he was seated. "You will see it." The glass she was holding fell to the floor, the crystal crushed, but no one noticed. Ruby Moon resigned and stepped towards the window.

"If emotion is not a weakness, then I will see this to the end."

Spinel joined her and neither spoke.

----------

When Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran returned that evening, a surprise was waiting. Fujitaka, Yelan, Touya, and Yukito had prepared a dinner fit for a farewell party. They laughed and talked and planned the Li's next visit to Tomoeda... But through it all, Sakura could not stop thinking about the dream... and how she was losing something... Her heart was breaking unbeknown to even herself.

Yelan and Syaoran would be leaving the next morning, and knowing Sakura, she would not wake in time to see them off.

"Good-bye, Sakura-san," Syaoran had said. "You were a great friend, and I'll really miss you." Inside he felt like crying. "Maybe, if you want, I'll write to you when I'm in Hong Kong... Do you think I can come visit sometime again?"

Sakura smiled, and inside she felt like crying, too. Why does it hurt so much? She asked herself silently. "Of course you're welcome to visit, Li-kun," she replied to him. "I'll miss you, too... Good-bye, Li-kun." She had hugged him and his mother once, and then retreated to her room. That pain was growing deeper every moment she was near him. "Good-bye, Li-kun," she whispered again, and Keroberos didn't know what to do. It was almost too late for hope to emerge victorious.

----------

"Good-bye, Li-kun," she whispered as night fell upon the world. One tear slipped down her cheek, unseen to anyone, and suddenly, the Cards on her desk began to glow. Their aura was faint at first, a light pink that was barely visible, but their strength grew, their powers reawakened. Sakura looked up suddenly, scanning her room for the source of the strange pink light. Kero watched, stunned, but did not move. Perhaps this was of what Yue spoke.

On her desk there lay a stack of cards... she picked one up and read its name.

"Dream," she whispered, and a strange, almost magical feeling surrounded her. Everything went black, and in that darkness she heard the echo of a thousand words and visions, but only some had meaning she could understand. She was enveloped in a reality that once belonged to her, but somehow, she was not Sakura.

----------

_Everywhere they looked, there was darkness._

_Two figures stood alone on top of Tomoeda's radio tower, and everywhere they looked, there was darkness. Everything that had happened and everyone that had disappeared into the void: it was something both bewildering and frightening... No one could stand up to this power; they were all engulfed by the empty black abyss._

_Everyone had disappeared, and now only those two figures stood alone and unknowing of how to stop this power that embodied the soul of destruction. Tomoeda had reached its darkest hour, but at present they could do nothing about it._

_And so they stood, watching the darkness._

"_You promised..." a voice whispered through the nothingness._

"_What did I promise?"_

_There was a quarrel between the two figures, one boy and one girl, and suddenly, the girl jumped from the tower, plummeting into the dark abyss that lay below. She was going alone in search of something... and the boy could not follow, for his magic was not strong enough to enter the void without being swallowed completely by it._

"_Don't do this!" he yelled, but the boy was alone with his echo._

"_Sakura, you promised..."_

_The girl continued to fall into the void, slowing until her falling became more like floating in a sea of blackness. Sakura could only watch as the girl searched, her face in shadow... Finally, emerging form the dark came a pair of hollow grey-violet eyes—eyes that belong to the soul of all destruction. The girl revealed her emerald eyes and met that empty gaze, and the dream faded into another dream._

_She felt a great loss, indeed, but the girl fought the spirit, and won the battle, but she also lost something important._

"_You promised to remember!" a voice shouted brokenly. Sakura could not reply. The girl fell from the darkness, and in her hand was a card._

_Suddenly, the scene faded, and the blackness in its languid state, returned. The dream's essence changed; the pace sped up, and fate was altered._

"_You promised." There was a boy with amber eyes carrying a sword... He stood by Sakura's side, his resolve unwavering, as if he were her protector. "You promised," he said again. A winged lion appeared, the ruby jewel on his crown glowing. Beside him stood a white-haired spirit with icy blue eyes. Sakura picked up the other Cards and the Clow Book, in reality and in her dream they were in her hands. The two spirits kept calling her name; the boy said nothing. _

"_You promised... even after..." The winged lion transformed into a stuffed animal, the spirit became a young man, and the boy with amber eyes had only tears. "Even after..." A boy with navy eyes kept calling her name as well... his staff resounded a great energy, and beside him stood a black beast and a young woman with dark wings. They looked at her with sad, pleading expressions. "Even after this..." _

_A dark void began to form above them all, and one by one, they began to disappear. The blackness swallowed everything._

_The figure of a young girl held a staff out against the dark, her magic faltering against the destructive power. She screamed silent words that Sakura could not hear. A white wind surrounded her, and the girl's own wings spread and vanished in the light that overpowered the black abyss. She held the staff and disappeared into the blinding white. "You promised," a voice echoed a final time, and when the girl turned around before vanishing, Sakura found herself looking into her own emerald eyes. "Even after..."_

Sakura jolted awake.

"What does it all mean?!" she screamed at the morning light, and then, in the following silence, her world exploded within her. She closed her eyes and dropped the cards and the book. Without knowing why, she threw off her night clothes and dressed for the breaking autumn weather. Her eyes still wild and watching the cards she scattered, she backed slowly towards the door. "What?"

Fujitaka and Touya burst up the stairs as Sakura had screamed, only to find her backing out of her room, the Clow Book and the Cards scattered over the floor. "Sakura!" She turned around, almost oblivious to her father and brother, and ran.

"Even after what?!" she screamed again into the cold morning air, and her heart began to whisper... Suddenly, she knew what it all meant.

----------

"One day, Sakura," Syaoran whispered to himself, "you'll remember me again, and when you do, I'll still be waiting." He walked through the air terminal slowly behind his mother. Yelan felt her son's grief, but he had chosen what he thought was right. Sakura no longer remembered. She no longer needed him. He would leave her to her life. It would be better that way.

"Oh, my son," she whispered, but he did not hear. They reached the gate, still holding to their luggage. They'd forgotten to drop it off. Yelan continued to walk, and Syaoran followed, stopping only once to look back at the life he was leaving behind. What was he waiting for?

"One day, Sakura, even after all of this, you'll remember me... I'll wait as long as you want me to." He turned around, ready to leave it all behind, but as soon as he did, a frantic voice rang through the terminal.

"Li-kun!" Sakura yelled, her eyes darting over everyone and everything. She had to find him. She couldn't let him leave. "Li-kun!" He turned around, his widening, but suddenly sad. Yelan, her hope flying in place of her son's, passed back through the gate as Sakura reached them. "Li-kun, wait! Please don't leave!" Syaoran's mother saw something mysterious in Sakura's eyes... Something that knew. Something that understood. Something that remembered.

Yelan pulled them aside so they would not block the other passengers. "I'm sorry, Sakura-san," she heard her son say. "I have to return home... It's better this way."

"So you're just going to leave? Just like that? Li-kun, what about—?"

"Sakura," he interrupted quietly, his hopes dead long before. "I—"

"Hear me out, at least." Syaoran looked at her pleading eyes. "Don't go anywhere, at least not until you've listened to me. Then, if nothing matters, you can go." She drew in a deep breath, as if to help control her shaking. The images kept replaying in her mind. The Nothing. The tower. The Cards. The sacrifice.

"All right," he answered. Inside, he was confused. What's going on? What does she mean? The flame of hope rose, and then dwindled, as if fighting against the wind that wished to extinguish it. He didn't know what was happening. The past few weeks had been too hard on him... he could not think.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sakura demanded almost angrily.

"What?"

"If you remembered it all, then why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you make me remember again? Why did you just choose to leave?" She fired question after question, never once truly wanting an answer. "Why?" Sakura stood there, angry, defiant... helpless.

"Sakura, what do you mean by—"

"The Nothing!" she shouted suddenly, loud enough for the terminal to hear. "Stop it, Li-kun! Don't you want me to remember? Don't you want me to know?" she demanded, her heart tearing inside. "I'll love you again, Syaoran..." She repeated the words she'd told him what seemed like eternities ago. "...even after my feelings are taken away..." She remembered! Syaoran's mind raced, but could not keep up with what was happened. He remained silent, stunned.

"Keroberos... Yue... the Clow Cards... Eriol-kun... Meiling-chan... You... Why didn't you trust my word? Now... you're leaving." Tears formed in Sakura's eyes.

----------

Ruby Moon was crying... but not from sadness.

Spinel remained quiet, confounded, lost, by the events unfolding.

"You see," Eriol said. "Human emotion is not a weakness. It destroys barriers; it does not cause them... Fate is not a pitiful thing." From the window, Spinel and Ruby did not reply. Eriol smiled with them as he silenced and continued to watch. Fate was not a pitiful thing at all.

----------

Yelan was about to say something, but her son had already stepped up in front of Sakura... the Card Mistress. "I'm not leaving," he whispered, lifting her chin so that she'd face him. He wiped away her tears, and she smiled. "I'm not leaving, Sakura. Not even after all of this..."

And he kissed her.

Fujitaka, Touya, Yukito, and Tomoyo holding Kero, finally reached the gate of the Lis flight to Hong Kong... When they found Sakura was not alone, a joy spread through the air so strong that even Touya, seeing Syaoran with his younger sister, could not hold himself to be angry. They were happy. Yukito grinned at Keroberos's hidden form; it was Yue's way of saying 'you can thank me later... I was the one who put the cards where she could find them... and remember them.'

Keroberos laughed mentally and smiled at his Card Mistress. Everything had turned out well.

----------

And just for the sake of having one, there's an epilogue! :) Please read it and review, k?

Thanx!!

LOL

Cat


	4. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS...

Yay! An epilogue! Well, I suppose it would be nice to know what happened after... since I wasn't too happy with the ending myself...

----------

**Epilogue**

Li Meiling watched the afternoon flight from Japan come in. It was snowing lightly, the cold wind whipping against the glass. It had been more than five months since she'd left her cousin in Tomoeda, forbidding him from returning home without his heart. In another week it would be Christmas. Behind her, Syaoran's four sisters were bawling about how their baby brother was finally coming home. Syaoran had not said anything else when he'd called Meling and told her he was leaving Japan... and Meiling knew he had not forgotten what she'd told him.

"You better not come home without Kinomoto-san," she whispered as she watched the plane come to a stop.

Suddenly, she turned away from the windows. She did not want to know right now whether her cousin had obeyed her. If she saw Syaoran step off that plane with a broken heart, she would not be able to scold him. She would cry with him, because she would be able to feel the sadness he hid. She hoped it would not be that way.

Minutes later, she heard Syaoran's sisters squealing. Syaoran remained silent, and Meiling could not turn around to face him. Don't you dare, she thought.

"Ying Fa," she heard one of his sisters say, and Meiling stood motionless for a moment. When it registered, she whirled around, her eyes wide with wonderment.

"Kinomoto-san!" she exclaimed. "Daidouji-san!"

Not only them, but Fujitaka, Touya, Yukito, and the stuffed animal as well... Yelan explained how they were staying for the Christmas holidays, and how Sakura would be staying in Hong Kong for high school the following year. Meiling was crying when she realized that her cousin was going to be alright.

She saw Sakura holding Syaoran's hand, and Syaoran was smiling when his cousin threw her arms around him and welcomed him home. Outside it was still snowing.

----------

Ta-da! The end! Cat takes a bow, and her back cracks because of how long she spent sitting in front of her laptop typing... Oww... Not too bad for only my second CCS fanfic ever! I'm so proud... sniffle Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Luv u guys! I hoped you liked the ending... :)

Oh, and for everyone who's gonna review, could you give me a little feedback... I have three other CCS fanfics lined up, but I really don't know which one to write... o.O

----------

The first one is called A Heart of Stone Can't Break and it takes place seven years after Syaoran leaves Tomoeda.

_After the Nothing Card is sealed away, Syaoran must say another good-bye and return home to Hong Kong. Seven years later, a plane lands in Hong Kong, and the Card Mistress steps off to begin her university years. She is overjoyed to meet Syaoran on the campus... but something has changed. Could it be that he's forgoteen all about Sakura? When something happens,even Keroberos begins to wonder if, before the Card Mistress, Syaoran's heart of stone can break._

Yeah, it's another one of those angst-romantic suspense things... only this time it's Syaoran's turn to forget... hehehe.

The second is an Alternate Universe, Little Wolf and the Cherry Blossom

_Syaoran Li, the stone-hearted future leader of the Li Clan, is training in the heart of inland China. He finds a young Japanese girl fleeing from her homeland and later discovers that she's a magician like him. The Akuji Clan wants her dead because she possesses the legendary cards of Clow Reed. Syaoran offers her shelter and brings her home to the rest of his clan... But what starts as a dark conspiracy to take the cards for his own family turns into something else..._

I haven't really been working on it... but the idea is still haunting me.

And finally, the last one is another Alternate Universe too: Sparring with the Blade of Fate

_The swords of two enemies clash for the power of the Clow Cards; Syaoran and Sakura's hatred for each other is fuelled by the long-standing rivalry between the Lis and the Kinomotos. They're an even match when it comes to sparring with their swords, but does either of them stand a chance against the blade of fate? Especially when its intent is not to force them apart, but bring them together?_

I've had a lot of fun adding a twist to the whole idea of being a cardcaptor... as in the art of gaining Clow Cards is a little more bloody than what appeared in the show... hehehe. I'm proud of this one, but I'd like a little feedback on its plot... like the fact that it is one of those love-hate things... not to mention that Sakura's innocence is now buried below bloodshed and sin... its sorta cryptic.

Well, thanx again everyone for reading! And thanx to everyone who reviewed!

LOL,

Ja ne, minna

Cat


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